Salty, sweet, creamy, malty— all around a very tasty experience. Chocolate may be the least prominent feature of the drink, but the others are great so you won’t care too much.
All in USA
Yup Double Chocolate Low Fat Ultra-Filtered Milk
Strong overall flavor, and a lot of what I get is sweetness, which is not what you’d expect from a ’25% less sugar’ product. I suspect the monk fruit extract, which is 150-200x sweeter than sugar, is a bit overplayed here, upstaging the ‘double chocolate’ element.
Rumble SuperShake Dutch Cocoa
If ‘potting soil’ and ‘paint thinner’ had a baby, this would be the amniotic fluid. This isn’t really chocolate milk in the purest sense, it’s definitely a ‘health shake’— and it may deliver on that, but if it’s taste you’re after, spread garbage disposal gleanings on a cracker instead.
Hershey's Cookies 'n' Creme Flavored Milk Shake
Tons of flavor, about as sweet as one could stomach, yet it still tastes pretty good. If you melted cookies ’n’ creme ice cream, strained out the solid bits, and thinned out the texture-- this is pretty much what you'd get. It’s not disappointing from that perspective.
Schroeder Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Pleasantly smooth, silky feel, and a medium-sweet, lightly malty flavor highlight the experience. It satisfies in a pinch, but the goal is not to find oneself in said pinch.
Kemps Select Chocolate Reduced Fat Milk
Satisfyingly creamy, malty, and chocolaty, and it does well to avoid over-sweetness. Much more enjoyable than the lowfat version.
Kemps Select Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Compositionally the same (?) as the Hy-Vee 1% Chocolate Lowfat Milk— and the same salty-and-not-much-else flavor. Sadly, I prefer the flavor of the Kemps Swiss Style Chocolate Lowfat Milk that had high fructose corn syrup and artificial flavor.
Hy-Vee Chocolate 1% Lowfat Milk
A bit too sweet, but paired with decent chocolate flavor and slightly thinner texture nudges it just above average for me.
Hy-Vee Chocolate Whole Milk
Strong flavors across the board, and the only drawback is a heavy, syrupy sweetness that you can feel in your throat post-swallow. A relatively minor gripe, but noticeable.
Hy-Vee 1% Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Salty at first taste, and not much else afterward. There’s not much sweetness, but what is there tastes artificial. Largely bland and unexciting.
Valley View Farms Chocolate Milk Shake
Incredibly thick— which is the only drawback I can find (albeit a big one). The flavor is sweet but not too lopsided, if it were much thinner, it would score a lot higher. Fans of the super-thick would enjoy. [Note: I’m pretty sure it’s not 68 calories per 100mL as the label suggests. I followed up with the company on 26-Jun-2017 and they replied that they are in the process of updating the label.]
Valley View Farms Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Texture feels unnatural and not entirely ‘milky.’ The flavor skews toward malty and is otherwise bland and uninteresting.
Lucerne Dairy Farms Extra Rich & Creamy Chocolate Fat Free Milk
A fat-free milk labelled ‘extra rich & creamy’ is strange, as a person would not select this item if they were looking for an indulgent experience. That said, it is pretty tasty for a skim chocolate milk— there’s perhaps a bit too much sweetness, but there’s salt in equal proportion that helps to balance it out. Lots more flavor that I expected.
Darigold Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Really nice creamy flavor, surprisingly prominent for a 1% fat product. Everything else is present and in good proportion— great tasting and feeling product from start to finish.
Fairlife SuperKids DHA Omega-3 Chocolate 2% Reduced Fat Ultra-Filtered Milk
Still has the signature Fairlife taste with a prominent stevia leaf flavor that attacks the lateral edges of your tongue and evokes the sour/mouth-watery reaction. Unfortunately, this overpowers the other flavors and experience. This has excellent nutritional stats that are head and shoulders above other chocolate milks.
Alpenrose Lite & Trim Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Fairly flavorless, with an aftertaste reminiscent of its container. Feels overly thick for just 1% milk fat. Chocolate is difficult to locate, overall it’s not an enjoyable experience.
Alpenrose Swiss Supreme Chocolate Milk
Not much chocolate to be found, but tons of cream, sweetness, and a decent dose of malt makes it wonderfully flavorful nonetheless. One of the most caloric products I’ve ever tasted, it’s like drinking melted ice cream (an overused cliché, but true here). With more cocoa, this could be elite.
Umpqua Dairy Dutch Style Chocolate Milk
Thick and creamy, but has a unique flavor to the sweetness that registers as ‘melon-y’ to me— just for a second, and then it goes away. There's as much malt as chocolate, both of which could stand to be more prominent, as there’s plenty of cream to carry it to a satisfying conclusion.
Edaleen Dairy Chocolate Milk
Sweet and has a syrupy quality instead of a (desirable) creaminess. Nothing else particularly stands out aside from a slight maltiness.
Alpenronse Swiss Style Chocolate Milk
Very creamy and pleasant, though not over-indulgent on the chocolate side of things. Not a bad way to spend a few hundred cals.