All in USA

Sport Shake Power Shake Chocolate

Super dense, super sweet, and chock full of flavor, and in spite of my initial recoil, I can't say that it’s poorly executed. There's a chalky element, but it’s somewhat mitigated by the cream element-- and the flavor might singe the back of your throat, but that pales in comparison to what it does to your pancreas. Not bad.

Hiland Skim Chocolate Milk

It's easy to forget how unnatural skim chocolate milk looks, feels, and tastes— this is no exception. Cloyingly sweet and unsupported by its cream-starved base, you will begin to wonder if even the most sugar-ravenous kids would disparage their young viscera with anything more than a trial sip.

O Organics Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk

Strongly sour cocoa taste that doesn't apologize for its boldness-- nor should it. There is a bit of chalk along for the ride, and it slightly impacts the otherwise creamy medium, but overall, it’s a deliciously quick way to add 310 calories to your daily ledger.

Kalispell Kreamery Chocolate Milk

Gorgeous texture— thin yet creamy— a balance so infrequently struck in chocolate milk. Unencumbered by thickeners, stabilizers, emulsifiers, etc.— you can really tell here. There’s no unnecessary thickness or starchiness, the cocoa flavor is deliciously prominent, and it all finishes extraordinarily cleanly. My only regret is that I didn’t buy more (I bought 3).

Pure Eire Organic Chocolate Milk

Fantastically creamy with a wild edge that provides a truly welcome and interesting character. (I was fortunate to try both the glass and plastic bottle versions, and in my case, the cream mixed much more evenly in the plastic— and that is the experience that I will review.) The cream-to-viscosity ratio is perfectly delivered, and though all other attributes are more than competent, they almost become moot when this ratio is nailed to the degree it is here.

Darigold Refuel Rich Chocolate Shake

Tons of flavor, particularly on the sweet end of the spectrum, which is also its biggest drawback. There’s no fortified taste whatsoever— it’s all very well hidden behind an impenetrable wall of sweet. The cocoa and salt are both stronger than average as well, and help to provide much-needed dimension.

Bennett Family Farm Chocolate Milk

Delectably creamy and malty, with a natural-feeling texture and well-sustained aftertaste that prolongs the quality of each exquisite sip. The sole downside is the pain and anguish I will feel after having exhausted the 1.89L bottle, knowing that I won’t soon return to western Oregon.