All in USA
A mass of deliciously creamy cocoa— so thick you can almost chew it. Its salty kick adds dimension to the cream, punch to the cocoa, and overall finality to the exit— which will be spent in reverence. There’s plenty of heft, but its delicious payoff more than does it justice.
An absolute dream to imbibe, and you won’t want it to end! Jersey cream forged from each buttery blade of grass they bite, mixed with a raw cocoa that serves as its perfect compliment. This is what chocolate milk is meant to be, and each sip is a reminder of how far some have strayed from the herd— when the solution was there the whole time: grass-fed whole milk, cocoa, and pure cane sugar.
Cloying upfront sweetness, especially for a no sugar added product— where the stevia takes over in the latter half of the sip, steering you into a chemical-esque downward spiral of dread. The texture is less concerning, though it sports an odd lightness, thankfully making it less likely to trigger your gag reflex.
Deliciously dense, with laser-focus on the cocoa experience, which for me, even after 1,400+ chocolate milks, stands out as uniquely prominent and tasty. The creamy base expertly delivers its punchy flavor evenly across all of your tastebuds, and even finding some that were either long dormant or you didn’t know existed.
Smooth, silky, and more of a caramel flavor than that of chocolate. I’ve had lots of ‘real’ Dutch chocolate milk (in the Netherlands, of course), and those generally sport a stronger cocoa flavor. Regardless, it drinks easily, and is plenty sweet and creamy to get the job done.
Decently pleasant hot-cocoa-packet flavor in an averagely creamy, mildly chalky base. Sadly, mediocrity rises to the top of the ‘institutional’ market, as this is one of the best chocolate milks I’ve had at a hotel breakfast buffet.
Buttery and direct— with cream that perfectly compliments the cocoa flavor and amplifies its presence well beyond each swallow. Masterful in its simplicity, delicious in its execution; overall a dream to sip.
Absolute poetry on the palate! Leaves both mouth and soul with a warm satisfaction that is rarely achieved—consider each 8-ounce serving as a legitimate creamy/salty/malty ticket to rapture.
Luxuriously creamy with a beautiful buttery malt that implores further consumption at a deliberately focused rate. The cocoa flavor won’t kick your door down, but it chooses to develop in the latter half of the draw before exiting gracefully.
Phenomenally creamy, full, and drinkable in a way that few chocolate milks could hope to achieve. It disperses perfectly in the mouth, knowing exactly where to go and how long it should take— and leaves you with a slightly powdery/malty cocoa gift that crescendos in the afterglow.
Well-balanced texture and flavor— being slightly more salty than sweet curbs any aftertaste lingering, and the cocoa presence is relatively prominent and true. It drinks well, and won’t make a mockery of your weekly chocolate milk budget.
Wow— a punch in the face of sweet, dark, cocoa flavor that will have your tastebuds standing at attention! Its remarkable girth is fully burdened with flavor and highly congruent with its gorgeous visage. For potable indulgence, look no further— but don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Tasty (if not over-sweet) cookies & cream flavor delivered through a fast-moving base that is adequately creamy and does its best to approach ‘milky’— but ultimately comes up short. Regardless, it’s not bad considering how badly many of its CnC peers have missed the mark.
Lightly sweet with a malty undertone, the silky-smooth texture feels luxurious beyond its reduced-fat budget. It earns high marks for physical drinkability, and the feel pairs well with its uniquely demure cocoa presence.
A mere husk of what chocolate milk could (and should) be, this fat-free, soul-free, flavor-free concoction leaves you with nothing more than an annoying astringent finish and abject puzzlement. Water seems more interesting and nuanced by comparison.
Whomever decided to package and sell this stuff should be put on a watch list. It’s watery, yet fiercely chalky, and the flavor is decidedly more ‘graphite’ than ‘chocolate truffle.’ They could easily rebrand this as an appetite suppressant.
Less flavorful overall than its ‘classic’ counterpart, and when the flavor is generally bad, less of it is a good thing. The cocoa is more noticeable, but there isn’t much salt, sweetness, or cream to help develop it or add dimension. It’s watery and highly chalky as well— I appreciate the packaging and the ‘better for you’ endeavor, but from a flavor / drinking experience standpoint, it’s significantly below the typical ‘bad’ chocolate milk.
Easily the worst version of Yoo-hoo I’ve tried. The bouquet alone should be an effective defense mechanism, but should you go in for a sip, rest assured it will be one of very few. It’s an egregious miss—assuming the target was cookies & cream and not soured acetone. This is terrible.
Well, it’s cold, brown, and would suck if you spilled it on your crotch— that’s where the similarities with chocolate milk end. I want to like this, but even the smallest sip brings about facial contortions. It looks decent coming out the can, but the flavor is unfortunately dominated by a heavy-handed pseudo-bitter-sweet twang that steers the rest of the experience toward imminent catastrophe.
An avalanche of indulgence curb-stomps your tastebuds into blissful oblivion! Highlighted by a powerfully true cocoa flavor and equally formidable cream quotient, this is the real deal Holyfield- accept no imitations, honor no substitutions, worship no other libations.
