Phony texture with lots of particulates, and a caramel-like sweetness and flavor that will make you double-check the ingredients.
All tagged Lactose Free
Nom Fasten Milch Drink Schoko
You wouldn't know that this contains artificial sweeteners— kudos to the Nom team for that. Everything tastes and feels authentic and is extremely impressive given its meager calorie count (only 49 per 100mL).
Chiefs Choco Mountain Milk Protein
Scurries down your throat as if it's surprised it even got past your lips— a vile, parasitic maneuver. Deceptively thin and watery, it launches an unpleasant ferrous assault on your interior. Three sips was enough for me, and I do this kind of thing for fun.
Nom Kakao Milch Laktosefrei
Thicker and a bit creamier than the lactose-containing version, but still the pleasant cocoa flavor and balance that you would expect. Lactose intolerant folks have been well taken care of here.
Meggle Active Protein Cokolada
Chalky, grainy, and terrible flavor that is closer to anise (black licorice) than cocoa. I’ve had a lot of protein-enriched chocolate milks in recent months, and most are more palatable than this.
Kaufland Laktosefrei Chocolate Flavored Milk Drink
Sweet and salty, though the sweetness feels forced and does not mesh well with the rest of the product. I’ve certainly had worse, but there are a lot of better lactose free options out there.
Arla Protein Choklad Mjölkdryck Lactose Free
Could use some salt, but overall a pleasant surprise in that it was potable. Only 45 calories and 4.5g sugar, with 5.3g protein per 100mL-- the stats are definitely better than the taste, but you can't have it all.
Njie ProPud Protein Milkshake Chocolate Flavor
Unique drink— thick(ish) but very smooth, nicely light sweetness but more of a hazelnutty flavor than a chocolaty one. Reminds me a bit of a more sensible Zott Monte, but not in a bad way.
Protein Pro Shake Chocolate Flavor
A flavor reminiscent of skunky, under-sweetened Ensure, with a torpidly gummy texture. Choking to death on this stuff would be an awful way to die-- for me it lies somewhere between ‘open water shark attack' and ‘getting slowly consumed feet-first by a runaway escalator.’
Arla Choklad Mjölk Dryck 50% Less Sugar
Unsweet, barely chocolaty, and a slight metallic aftertaste-- none of which are particularly egregious, but it's not a package I'd recommend for flavor pursuit.
Matilde Sport 50% Less Sugar
Clearly, Matilde felt it necessary to concoct a cross between the ‘Mini’ 50% less sugar version and the ‘Sport’ extra protein version. In this case, you get the worst of both: super-chalky, nasty texture (Sport) and the gutter runoff flavor (Mini) that would make tree bark taste like peanut butter fudge by comparison.
Thise Okologisk Kakaomaelk Laktosefri
Shockingly bitter upon first sip, but warms up quickly. I dig the uniqueness and the (way) under sweetened approach— it's memorable and reminds you that decent cocoa flavor doesn't require a ton of help.
Arla Kids Kakao Minimaelk Drik
I don’t want to make light of child abuse, but please don’t feed this to your kids. I understand that there’s 50% less sugar, and that ‘taste’ is not the primary objective here, but it should have at least been considered.
Barebells Chocolate Flavor Milkshake
No added sugar, plenty of protein, and actually not tasteless or terribly offensive. The texture feels dense (a slight departure from ‘milky’) but the artificial sweeteners do their job well and the package is not only potable, but preferable (from a taste standpoint) to many others in the ‘recovery’ market.
Matilde Mini Kakao Laktosfri
The most prominent flavor here is ‘regret.’ Fifty percent less sugar may be too ambitious— there’s zero sweetness, zero creaminess, no salt, minimal sour cocoa flavor, all wrapped up in a nasty dark gray liquid that, in retrospect, looks much more appetizing that what is delivered. Eschew.
Core Power High Protein Chocolate Milk Shake Light
Mildly metallic aftertaste that dissipates quickly, but the chalkiness is slower to vanish. From a flavor standpoint, it’s under sweetened an under salted; not recommended for recreational consumption.
Organic Valley Organic Fuel High Protein Chocolate Milk Shake
Extremely chalky, very mildly chocolaty, and relatively unsweet— I applaud the uniqueness in flavor and the aim towards ‘better for you’— but there is little reason to pursue this version for taste alone.
Core Power Elite High Protein Chocolate Milk Shake
Thick, chalky, and what sweetness exists tastes artificial and weird, though not completely out of character for Fairlife products. I appreciate that it’s low sugar and (very) high protein and it bears much more semblance to milk than other products in its category— but to drink it for its flavor is not recommended.
Core Power High Protein Chocolate Milk Shake
Unnaturally thick texture which doesn't feel milky. It is reminiscent of Fairlife, but definitely not an improvement (despite a little more protein and a bit more sugar). Mild metallic aftertaste is thankfully fleeting.
Organic Valley Organic Balance Dark Chocolate Milk Protein Shake
Very sour and slightly bitter cocoa taste that takes a few sips to acclimate to— and by the time you’ve adjusted, the bottle is gone.