An onslaught of richness and flavor packed into a densely thick and creamy drink! It will fill up your stomach just as fast as it satisfies your desire for something indulgent— it’s very efficient in that way— and a truly remarkable experience.
Harris Teeter Chocolate Milk
Smooth, creamy, chocolaty, and just a hair too heavy on sweetness, which you will feel dancing on your glottis a few seconds after each swallow.
Harris Teeter Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk
Proof that above average chocolate milk can come in a gallon jug! It's very well balanced, with plenty of cocoa flavor, creaminess, and a sweetness that knows its role.
Great Value Ultra-Pasteurized Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Smooth and fairly malty— a notch ‘milkier’ and better than the standard gallon jug 1% chocolate milk. It’s pale color sets up the expectation of weak cocoa flavor, which turns out not to be as egregious as it looks.
Yoohoo Chocolate Strawberry
It tastes like sweet strawberry gum— not the worst thing ever, but I couldn’t locate the chocolate component. My biggest disappointment was that the product is the typical Yoohoo brown— I was hoping for something closer to the box’s radioactive mauve.
Friendly Farms Organic Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Beautiful to look at (outside the box) and the unique flavor treads carefully between cocoa and malt. Its saltiness greets you with a firm handshake and polices the aftertaste strictly but fairly.
Fit & Active Weight Loss Shake Chocolate
Gritty texture and slightly metallic flavor, but behind all that is an above average tasting fortified drink. The chocolate flavor is definitely present and becomes more prominent the more you get used to the undesirables.
Natural By Nature Organic Chocolate Milk
Excellent creamy-yet-not-overly-thick texture and feel, but nearly flavorless otherwise. Chocolate flavor is very hard to locate, and not much sweetness, salt, or malt to fill in the dead space. It’s still enjoyable due to the cream, but not nearly what it could be. I could convince myself that there was a tiny bit of anise flavor as well (which I’m sure there isn’t).
Whole Foods 365 Chocolate Milk
Interesting combination of strongly sweet and slightly earthy— it doesn’t lack flavor, that’s for sure. It’s aesthetically gorgeous, decently chocolaty, and a bit thinner viscosity than you might expect. The sweetness is overpowering and does ‘candify’ the chocolate flavor to a disappointing degree.
TruMoo McArthur Dairy Chocolate Milk
Sweet and creamy with a very pleasing feel. Light on chocolate flavor, but the remainder of the experience feels authentic and approaching indulgent.
Great Value Lactose Free Chocolate Milk
Milky, creamy, and adequately sweet— it’s not a bad option for the lactose averse. As with many others, it could stand to be more chocolaty, but it’s not a product that should raise the eyebrow of any reasonable houseguest.
Core Power High Protein Chocolate Milk Shake
Unnaturally thick texture which doesn't feel milky. It is reminiscent of Fairlife, but definitely not an improvement (despite a little more protein and a bit more sugar). It does have stronger than average cocoa flavor, but suffers from a lack of a salty presence.
Friendly Farms Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Pleasantly sweet and chocolaty with minimal funky aftertaste, a solidly average chocolate milk that doesn’t take too many chances.
Friendly Farms Lactose Free Chocolate Milk
Decently thin and smooth texture, but not much taste beyond a fairly empty sweetness and mild cocoa flavor.
Country Delite Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Flat overall flavor and dead average across the board. This perfectly epitomizes the ‘average chocolate milk in a big ass gallon jug’ motif that pervades so much of America.
Country Delite Really Chocolate Milk
Plenty of flavor packed into a fairly dense medium, but it’s sweet, salty, chocolaty, creamy, and indulgent.
Chick-fil-A Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Sports a cooked milk / caramel flavor punch that rises above its other characteristics. It’s plenty sweet, adequately chocolaty, and should serve as a fine addition to any fried chicken order.
Prairie Farms Chocolate & PB
Much saltier and sweeter than I was expecting— the ‘peanut’ side of things is more strongly represented than the ‘chocolate.’ After the initial shock (of powerful salty/sweet/nutty) wears off, it gets to be more pleasant and is enjoyable in relatively small amounts due to the indulgence factor.
Bolthouse Farms Chocolate Protein Plus
A powdery, grainy feel and soy flavor highlight the experience, and limit the score significantly. It doesn't have a ‘bad’ flavor for what it is, but it carries more of a fruity sweetness than a ‘Rich Chocolate Taste’ that the label touts.
MET-Rx High Protein Chocolate Milk Shake
Thick, chalky, and highly unsweet. It makes you wonder what ‘Drano’ might taste like, and how similar to this it might be.