UK Farm Chocolate Goat Milk

The dominant flavor is ‘malt’ by a long shot— it’s not particularly chocolaty or goaty. The texture is excellent, and the creaminess shines as well (especially given the thin medium). It’s not ‘gamey’ or ‘wild’ tasting as other non-cow milks can be, but more on the bland side with plus physical attributes.

Almarai Double Chocolate Milk

Wow— super sweet and strongly chocolaty. Unfortunately, the cocoa flavor has been ‘candified’ which exudes an air of inauthenticity. I applaud the effort, as it stands out among the hundreds of boxed chocolate milks I’ve tried, and it does indeed deliver on the ‘double chocolate’ claim. Just too sweet for its own good.

Goodday Chocolate Milk

More sharply ‘rummy’ than the UHT version, and accompanied by a ‘soiled paint thinner’ note quite opposite of the pleasantly sweet vanilla aroma. On its own, you might not notice the shortcomings as much, but in serial comparison to other chocolate milks, it’s surprisingly ugly.

Goodday Charge

Sweet and dirty, like how you’d expect the mud in Candyland to taste. The texture is more syrupy than milky, and you can tell there’s some fortification therein, particularly in the aftertaste. 

Dutch Lady Chocolate Caramel Milk

The ‘caramel’ piece is not at all obvious, and you’re still left with an under-flavorful experience that blends in with it surroundings on the UHT milk shelf. It’s a bit saltier than the typical Dutch Lady product, and if that’s attributable to the ‘caramel’ flavor, then it’s a positive (but still relatively impotent) thing.

Dutch Lady Milky Chocolate Milk (box)

Relatively smooth, but tastes like a fortified drink to an extent— there’s a minor vitamin-enhanced-metallic bent to the flavor that is not necessarily distracting, but just as prominent as the (still weak) cocoa flavor. A few straw-lengths and the tiny box is depleted, much like your desire to siphon 125mL more.

F&N Magnolia Chocolate Milk (UHT plastic)

Begins with a remarkably sharp salty hit that feels artificial, and is entirely distracting from whatever else might be taking place. Thankfully, it recedes almost as quickly as it comes on, but each sip repeats the cycle, and it’s not something you’ll want to experience multiple times in a row.

KenKen Bread Chocolate Milk

The heavy chalkiness is (in part) warranted by the cocoa flavor, and (in part) mitigated by the cream quotient that serves as a competent base for a drink that is nearly devoid of sweetness- and it works. The flavor is more of a ‘slow burn’— and it feels more sophisticated than your average sweetened milk beverage.