‘Chalky’ can still be ‘milky’— but not in this case. It feels a bit unnatural, and carries a fortified undertone throughout. It’s more watery than creamy, and its best feature is that it’s not abjectly awful tasting.
All tagged Gluten Free
Hay Dairies Chocolate Goat Milk
It's hard to tell that this is sweetened at all— or ‘chocolate’ for that matter. I’ve never had straight goat milk, but now I feel that I have. Not the worst thing under the sun, but aside from a mild ‘game’ flavor and an equally mild ‘malt’ flavor— there’s very little here to taste. It’s very thin, and separates quickly— otherwise you wouldn't believe that it was ‘chocolate goat milk.’
Rokeby Farms Whole Protein Dutch Chocolate Breakfast Smoothie
Rather bland, with a somewhat artificial bent to the sweetness (though it does not contain artificial sweeteners). Otherwise, it's fairly bland and unobtrusive, does a nice job of hiding the fortification (tastewise), but could use some salt to add another needed flavor dimension.
Nippy's Iced Chocolate Milk (UHT plastic)
Super thin and smooth, just like the boxed version, and a little less bland, though far from overpoweringly flavorful. It does carry a much more noticeable salt quality, which amplifies the cream and creates a stronger overall experience.
Nippy's Iced Chocolate Milk (UHT box)
Record-scratchingly bland— it’s sporting ‘business casual’ to a Halloween rave. Nothing is offensive here, just rather pointless— especially if you’re expecting flavor in proportion to the chocolate chunks that abound on the package.
Hiland Chocolate Milk
Salty, almost peanut-buttery flavor that registers as both indulgent and unique. Chocolate flavor is difficult to locate, but chances are you won’t mind, as it’s creamy and delicious as it is.
Fit & Active Weight Loss Shake Chocolate
Gritty texture and slightly metallic flavor, but behind all that is an above average tasting fortified drink. The chocolate flavor is definitely present and becomes more prominent the more you get used to the undesirables.
Natural By Nature Organic Chocolate Milk
Excellent creamy-yet-not-overly-thick texture and feel, but nearly flavorless otherwise. Chocolate flavor is very hard to locate, and not much sweetness, salt, or malt to fill in the dead space. It’s still enjoyable due to the cream, but not nearly what it could be. I could convince myself that there was a tiny bit of anise flavor as well (which I’m sure there isn’t).
Great Value Lactose Free Chocolate Milk
Milky, creamy, and adequately sweet— it’s not a bad option for the lactose averse. As with many others, it could stand to be more chocolaty, but it’s not a product that should raise the eyebrow of any reasonable houseguest.
Core Power High Protein Chocolate Milk Shake
Unnaturally thick texture which doesn't feel milky. It is reminiscent of Fairlife, but definitely not an improvement (despite a little more protein and a bit more sugar). It does have stronger than average cocoa flavor, but suffers from a lack of a salty presence.
Bolthouse Farms Chocolate Protein Plus
A powdery, grainy feel and soy flavor highlight the experience, and limit the score significantly. It doesn't have a ‘bad’ flavor for what it is, but it carries more of a fruity sweetness than a ‘Rich Chocolate Taste’ that the label touts.
Natural Low Fat Chocolate Milk UHT
More of a creamy flavor than a sweet one, it feels closer to the mature end of the cocoa spectrum as opposed to the ‘candied’ end. It’s pleasant, checks all the boxes, but won’t blow you away with any spikes or dips in flavor or quality.
Shamrock Farms Rockin' Protein Builder Chocolate
Beautifully brown, but fairly hollow flavor. The sweetness feels inauthentic, and overall it has a slight watery quality that washes away the rather mild taste anyway. It hides the protein-y flavor quite well— it’s definitely palatable, and tastier than many other ‘recovery’ oriented drinks, but it doesn't compare favorably to chocolate milk, especially the high standard that Shamrock Farms tends to deliver.
Orgain Grass Fed Protein Creamy Chocolate Fudge
It's got the 3 Ws in spades— wheaty, watery, and wackness. It’s unsweet to the point of being bitter, and that’s not to accentuate a dark chocolate flavor or something worthwhile. You’re left with a damp cardboard aftertaste that will serve as a stark reminder not to take another sip.
Kroger Chocolate Breakfast Shake
Multivitamin scent and flavor (to a lesser extent), and feels like a mouthful of beach sand. You can chomp on the individual grains during and after each sip, and there’s an audible ‘crunch’ as you do so. It’s chalky, passably chocolaty, and from a taste perspective, you could do a lot worse in the ‘breakfast shake’ category.
Shamrock Farms Rockin' Refuel Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Sweet and chocolaty, with plenty of excusable chalk. The flavor is not to be overlooked here, it is rather strong and true— I must say that I’m both surprised and impressed. Your mouth will dry out from the heavy chalk, but you’ll effortlessly rationalize another sip, and another…
Sir Bananas (UHT)
If you’re paying close attention, you may notice actual tiny bits of banana that buoy to the surface, and you can feel them on your tongue— actually a welcome feature and pleasant surprise. The banana flavor is stronger than the cocoa flavor, but it’s a pleasantly unique drink that can be a nice change of pace.
Nutrament Chocolate
Has an almost pinkish-brown coloration, and is super-sweet above all else. I can’t locate much of any cocoa flavor— just a thin, sugary drink that emulates milk fairly well, but won’t satisfy your chocolate craving one iota.
Lactel Milumel Cacao
Why do I even bother with these? There's no sweetness, no chocolate, no reason to drink this at all. It’s super thick, and akin to drinking oatmeal without the solid bits.
Protein Boost Chocolate
Thin and somewhat smooth, but unnatural feeling. The overt (phony) sweetness will shock and displease you. Reckon it's antifreeze without the cool green color.