Excellent chocolate-malt flavor with a snap of salt that ties it up neatly. The cocoa flavor is true, it’s easy to drink, and even easier to want more.
Giant Eagle Lowfat Chocolate Milk
I appreciate the thinner-than-expected viscosity nestled among its otherwise dead-average characteristics.
Giant Eagle Local Chocolate Milk
Sweet and curiously under-chocolaty— it drinks like a sweetened half & half— not the worst thing under the sun, but an interesting profile choice for chocolate milk.
Buckeye Country Creamery Chocolate Milk
Slightly wild with an under-sweet, powdery cocoa flavor that pairs quite well with its warmly creamy base. The cream’s presence remains long after each swallow, and it just ‘feels’ right.
Smith's Chocolate Milk
Creamy, salty, sweet, mildly chocolaty— in that order, and it’s enjoyable save for a fleeting quality to the flavor that feels a touch unnatural.
Smith's Old Fashioned Chocolate Milk
Mature arrangement of cream, cocoa, and muted sweetness that flourishes in the latter half of the sip and finishes clean— preparing you for the next draw without forcing you to rush.
Dairymens Chocolate Milk
Decent texture and cream quotient, but also cloyingly sweet with a ‘fruity’ essence— usurping most of the attention from its cocoa flavor and other positive attributes.
Smith's Chocolate Low Fat Milk
Rather bland with a nearly minty essence to the latter half of the sip. Reminiscent of that emoji that has the flat horizontal lines for its eyes and mouth.
Smith's Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Fairly straight forward chocolate milk experience that leans slightly toward the starchier end of the spectrum. It’s not overpoweringly sweet, which works to its advantage but it remains on the low end of mediocrity.
Smith's Chocolate Fat Free Milk
Starchy, thickened, and chalky finish: a ham-fisted attempt to mask its fat deficiency. The flavor is highlighted by a ‘cartony’ note and reinforced with salt (a good move).
Toft's Nonfat Chocolate Milk
Boringly flat, otherwise relatively unoffensive for nonfat chocolate milk. There’s no curious flavors (good or bad), and drinking any more than a thimbleful is likely to be unsatisfying.
Hartzler Family Dairy Chocolate Milk
Beautifully creamy, with a malty (and almost caramel-like) dominance that manages to feel indulgent, yet responsible and mature.
Calder Bros. Dairy Chocolate Milk
Saltier and less sweet than the glass bottle version, this strikes the perfect balance of massively chocolaty, ridiculously creamy, and finely tuned sweet/salty harmony.
Guernsey Farms Dairy Chocolate Milk (plastic)
Delicious much in the same way as the cartoned version, but lacking the salty punch of its counterpart (probably only detectable in a side-by-side comparison). A fine addition to anyone’s grocery order, even in the quality-rich Michigan chocolate milk scene.
Calder Bros. Dairy Chocolate Milk
Immensely chocolaty, creamy and plenty sweet— it’s not just ‘dessert-y’— but a full-on dessert in itself. The cocoa flavor is bold and lasts well into the next few minutes of your life, after which you may want to strongly consider brushing your teeth.
Guernsey Farms Dairy Chocolate Milk
Decadently creamy with a generous amount of salt that makes this feel more like a melted milkshake. Each swallow imparts a warm embrace on whatever it comes in contact with. Don’t get any ideas..
MOO-ville Creamery Chocolate Milk
An absolutely delicious ride through chocolate streams gilded with buttery cream— an experience of which you will not soon tire. I was well into my second glass before snapping out of my momentary bliss-induced aphasia. Go out of your way to acquire this.
Country Dairy Dutch Chocolate Milk
Impressive duality of sweet cream and sour cocoa that melds together seamlessly, providing an indulgently chocolaty experience from start to finish.
Hilhof Dairy Organic Chocolate Milk
A hint of ‘wild’ sets this creamy, chocolaty dream apart from the more ‘produced’ chocolate milks out there. It disperses wonderfully and leaves you with a slight cocoa film, but feels natural throughout. This makes me think of how chocolate milk perhaps used to be— and what horrible things have happened to afford us the myriad concoctions/perversions that flood the market today.
Our Family Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Lightly sweet and bland, with a starchy clinginess to the inside of your mouth— as though it's trying its best to hang on and impart some flavor “if only we had more time!!”— but fails remarkably in the end, cascading down the esophageal chasm never to be heard from again.