Tasty initial maltiness that is carried through to the end by its gorgeous creamline body-- this is uniquely delicious and indulgent despite an under-reliance on chocolatiness.
Fairlife DHA Omega-3 Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk
Thinner texture and a nicely more 'lithe' drinking experience compared with the traditional Fairlife chocolate milk. The monk fruit sweetener has been dialed back to a more manageable level and really only hampers the aftertaste- and even that, only slightly.
Fairlife Reduced Fat Cookies N' Creme Milk
Very muted flavor-- has an almost diluted quality to it, and while it's largely unoffensive-- it's far from moving the needle in any positive direction. Initially smooth, it finishes with a chalky, drying lilt and predictably flat aftertaste. I'll concede that the packaging looks cool-- but if it's what's on the inside that counts, this doesn't belong among polite society.
Chobani Reduced Fat Lactose Free Chocolate Milk
Disturbingly thick, decidedly undersweet-- you almost have to chew it to get it down, which is a lot more work than the payoff is worth. I do appreciate the confidence to go low on the sugar, while not supplimenting with another kabuki sweetener. It's unique, and has a hefty protein kick, but the thickness-to-creaminess ratio is dissatisfyingly high, and I'm left with a dry mouth, full gut, and shattered dreams. Ok that's a bit dramatic.
TruMoo Moo & Improoved Lowfat Chocolate Milk
By definition, this run-of-the-mill nation-wide, mass-produced, low-fat chocolate milk should be a 5.0-- but somehow it feels criminal to call this average. Maybe my tastes and expectations have evolved slightly, maybe it's taken a turn for the worse. That said, it's super-innocuous, lightly sweet, and carries a slightly earthier than usual cocoa flavor that requires some effort to tease out.
The Mullen Dairy & Creamery Chocolate Banana Milk
Being a lover of innovation and fake banana flavor-- you'd think the confluence of these would be a match made in the heaven that is my lizard brain. It scores definite points for effort and novelty, but ultimately, it drinks like a liquid banana Runt-- not the worst thing by any stretch-- but the chocolate component is too overshadowed to register on the palate. Aesthetics-wise, it resembles something straight from a healthy bile-duct, but don't let that keep you from giving it a try if the above sounds remotely your speed.
The Mullen Dairy & Creamery Cookies & Cream Milk
A welcome more-mature CnC flavor here that is not hampered by an over-reliance on sweetness to get its point across. Accuracy over caricature is a appreciated in this application, and the flavor ages nicely from initial contact to lasting repose.
The Mullen Dairy & Creamery Chocolate Milk
Brightly cocoa-focused with a subtle homage to its grassy roots-- this is a powerful manifestation of what makes chocolate milk a pleasure to consume. The strong cocoa flavor is the star of the show, and the other aspects all play their supporting roles well-- particularly the sweetness, which remains thoughtfully in the background throughout.
Weigel's Peanut Butter Chocolate Milk
Loads of flavor supported by a competent whole milk base-- this is a dangerously easy (and remarkably efficient) way to take in 510 calories! The cocoa flavor is not lost in the peanut buttery goodness-- both are equally represented and not cartoonishly portrayed. Good stuff.
Ran-Lew Dairy Chocolate Milk
Few chocolate milks strike a perfect note on all accords-- it's luxuriously buttery and creamy, with a strongly confident wildness that reminds you where it came from. It's strongly chocolaty and slightly more salty than sweet, which compliments the cream flavor and quells any would-be sugary aftertaste. Quite simply, this is what all young chocolate milks should aspire to be when they grow up.
Weigel's Chocolate Milk
Straightforward cocoa flavor and salty/sweet balance-- a pleasant drinking experience with a dusting of grit on the back end. There's not much of an aftertaste (be it good or bad)-- so ultimately, it's decent while it lasts, but won't occupy precious brain-harddrive space with its memory.
a2 Milk Hershey's Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk
Pleasant sweetness up front, followed by an average-to-mild cocoa flavor and minimal back-end baggage. It finishes clean, but I'm left unsatisfied by the incongruence between the prominent Hershey's co-branding and the lackluster chocolate presence in the look and more importantly, the flavor.
Carnation Breakfast Essentials Rich Milk Chocolate
Strong enough cocoa presence to challenge (not quite 'mitigate') the metallic / fortified flavor, and thankfully the stevia is dialed to an appropriate level-- avoiding the telltale 'twang' that typically accompanies it. Texture-wise, it's an odd combination of thin yet deeply chalky-- it won't feel terribly unfamiliar, but it remains several standard deviations away from desirable.
Volleman's Family Farm Chocolate Milk
Beefy and full of cocoa flavor- this is a lot to take in at once, but I'm more than happy to oblige. The sweet/salty balance is appropriately tuned and does well to support the strong medium cocoa flavor that is the main feature and treated with the reverence it deserves.
1836 Farms Chocolate Milk
Silky upfront experience with a back-end malt and an almost coffee-like bent to the flavor. There's a modicum of grit left in the mouth post-swallow, followed by a clean, pleasant aftertaste that warrants another pour. This half gallon won't last long.
Blue Ribbon Dairy Chocolate Milk
Immediately flavorful, with a well-proportioned sweet/salty balance that does well to support the medium-to-malty cocoa presence. It feels fully burdened and its thickness is more than warranted by the cream content. If you've got a chocolate milk itch, this will scratch it to a highly satisfying degree.
Morell Dairy Farm Chocolate Milk
Delicious creamline milk that with a malty cocoa focus and interesting grassy undertone that provides depth and character to the cream. It has a nice 'feel' and drinks fairly quickly in spite of its slightly thicker than average viscosity. Start to finish, it's great stuff and worthy of your hard earned cash.
The Waldo Way Raw A2 Chocolate Milk
Massive chocolate presence, resolutely on the dark/mature end of the spectrum-- and it hits you early and often (and even stays late!). Its thin body (like many raw milks) delivers the flavor rapidly and with uniformity-- and to an extent, feels overburdened with the task, as there is a noticeable cocoa grit that you will feel throughout. Super unique from both a flavor, texture, and even visual standpoint-- it's a fun one to try, and I recommend seeking it out if you're a fan of drinkable dark cocoa.
Jersey Girls Milk Co. Raw Chocolate Milk
Sweet upfront with a subtle malty finish. The highlight is the thinness-to-creaminess ratio that always feels right in a raw chocolate milk. I don't pick up much actual cocoa flavor, but I'm enjoying the search.
Shamrock Farms Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Pretty decent salty-malty cocoa flavor with a deceptively creamy hit in the latter half of the sip. There's a bit of a cooked milk twinge which manifests as a caramel-like flavor, likely from the high-temp pasteurization that caramelizes some of the milk sugars. All in all-- a pretty decent 1%.