Mature (and a tad sour) chocolate flavor stands out above its other qualities, all of which are competent in their support of the cocoa. Nicely thin (considering the fat content) and natural-feeling texture.
Publix Chocolate Milk
Beautiful aesthetics, and nicely creamy but lacks a cocoa punch. It’s definitely a flavor upgrade from the Lowfat version, but lacks imagination.
Publix Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Thinner and quite a bit sweeter than average, it’s nicely drinkable, but doesn’t carry a lot of chocolate flavor— and the chocolate flavor that is present is a touch on the ‘candy’ side.
SE Grocers Low Fat Chocolate Milk
More of a ‘milky’ flavor than chocolate, which is a bit unique, but nonetheless comes across as bland.
Borden Dutch Chocolate Milk
A darkish, sourish, mature-ish flavor that rides along a smooth wave of creamy. Feels dessert-like, indulgent, and should be handled with reverence.
Borden Dutch Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Sharpish taste to the first sip that I have a hard time describing, but it involves a saltiness— which is not a turnoff, just a surprise. In the end, it evokes a malty quality that outshines the cocoa aspect.
Atlanta Fresh Creamtop Whole Chocolate Milk
A remarkable experience- tastes different from anything else I’ve had. It’s super-salty, but you warm to that quickly. It’s plenty creamy, a tad grainy, and very flavorful. Perhaps these grass-fed cows unearthed a salt lick— but still, it’s a luxurious experience that may take a sip or three to get used to.
Whole Foods 365 Everyday Value Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Straight down the middle— as average as it gets. Nothing stands out, but it’s easily recognizable as chocolate milk and is exactly what I think of when I picture ‘average.’
TruMoo PET Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Not very sweet, or chocolaty, or malty, or… really anything. It passes as chocolate milk, albeit a very bland one.
Sir Bananas Chocolate Bananamilk
Much more banana than chocolate, and an interesting combination of textures— thick but very smooth. If you like bananas (or banana flavor), you will enjoy this, for chocolate lovers— look elsewhere. A competent drink though.
Yoohoo Chocolate Drink (can)
Ugly white foam across the top eventually dissipated, but the flavor remained the same sweet, watery, familiar, candyish chocolate that we all associate with Yoohoo.
Yoohoo Chocolate Drink (box)
Seemed slightly less sweet (and therefore better balanced) than the bottled and canned versions. You’d be hard-pressed to notice unless trying all 3 versions side-by-side (which I’m doing..)— but this version is my preferred for what it's worth.
Muscle Milk Light Chocolate
Smoother texture than the non-light versions, and the horrendous taste is muted to enough of an extent that it *improves* the score. It’s the darkest product I’ve sampled thus far— reminiscent of crude oil.
Muscle Milk Genuine Chocolate
Awful chemical taste, very grainy and unnatural feeling texture. I don't see how people can drink this voluntarily.
Muscle Milk Knockout Chocolate
Grainier, slightly more natural feeling than the ‘Genuine’ Muscle Milk, but still hard to get down. Lots of grit in the teeth after each reluctant swallow.
Monster Muscle Monster Chocolate Energy Shake
Smells like turpentine, looks like coffee, tastes like a bit of a mixture of the two. There is a little bit of a creamy component that is welcomed, but the overwhelmingly dominant flavor is a sour/rummy/chemically taste that lingers in the mouth beyond what you’d hope.
Core Power High Protein Chocolate Milk Shake
Unnaturally thick texture which doesn't feel milky. It is reminiscent of Fairlife, but definitely not an improvement (despite a little more protein and a bit more sugar). Mild metallic aftertaste is thankfully fleeting.
Nestle Nesquik Protein Plus Chocolate
Plasticky texture and a candy-like sweetness that is hard to stomach. The ’28% less sugar’ claim I feel is a bit misleading, and regardless, there are items with half the sugar that taste much better.
Howling Cow PowerPack Protein Fortified Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Remarkably thin and smooth for a protein-fortified chocolate milk. All the flavors are congruent with what you'd expect; a nice surprise in its difference among its fortified peers, yet conformity to a chocolate milk paradigm.
Organic Valley Organic Balance Dark Chocolate Milk Protein Shake
Very sour and slightly bitter cocoa taste that takes a few sips to acclimate to— and by the time you’ve adjusted, the bottle is gone.