Pleasantly average chocolate milk that plays it right down the middle in all categories and doesn’t go into business for itself.
Fairlife Smart Milkshakes Chocolate
Smooth and sweet— but I taste more stevia than honey. It’s not as blatant as some of the other Fairlife products, but neither is the chocolate presence. It could use a heavier dose of salt to bring out the cream, as it’s lacking flavor dimensionality.
Purity Chocolate Milk (pint)
Tons of flavor, with the cocoa nearly in equal proportion to the sweetness— providing a more mature, dessert-y type of feel that makes my heart sing. The creamy base does its job almost too well-- as it’s easy to drink too much of it too fast.
Prairie Farms Chocolate Milk
Strongly sweet, with an almost honey-ish bent; it fits together well with above-average saltiness and a super smooth and creamy medium. More cocoa wouldn’t hurt, but it’s far from broken and no need to fix it-- it’s objectively delicious.
Publix Chocolate Milk
Creamy, sweet, and enjoyable, but don’t expect your chocolate ‘itch’ to get scratched.
Purity Chocolate Milk (quart)
Has the confidence to rein in the sugar and ultimately let the cocoa flourish, with lots of help from the deliciously creamy solvent. It looks and feels substantial, which will make you savor it all the more.
Kroger Chocolate Breakfast Shake
Multivitamin scent and flavor (to a lesser extent), and feels like a mouthful of beach sand. You can chomp on the individual grains during and after each sip, and there’s an audible ‘crunch’ as you do so. It’s chalky, passably chocolaty, and from a taste perspective, you could do a lot worse in the ‘breakfast shake’ category.
Shamrock Farms Rockin' Refuel Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Sweet and chocolaty, with plenty of excusable chalk. The flavor is not to be overlooked here, it is rather strong and true— I must say that I’m both surprised and impressed. Your mouth will dry out from the heavy chalk, but you’ll effortlessly rationalize another sip, and another…
Sir Bananas (UHT)
If you’re paying close attention, you may notice actual tiny bits of banana that buoy to the surface, and you can feel them on your tongue— actually a welcome feature and pleasant surprise. The banana flavor is stronger than the cocoa flavor, but it’s a pleasantly unique drink that can be a nice change of pace.
Horizon Organic High Protein Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Has a unique, sharp malt flavor that outshines the cocoa flavor but should maintain your interest throughout. The powerful malt accentuates the ‘creamy’ aspect over the ‘sweet’ one, and it works rather well here.
Hope Eco-Farms Chocolate Milk from Grassfed Water-Buffalo
Thin, creamy (we cheated by using a blender, as tireless manual shaking couldn’t break up all the chunks of cream), and a prominent but slightly powdery chocolate flavor. The cream is really difficult to incorporate fully, as it becomes foamy and wants to ride atop the drink. As such, the flavor gets washed out toward the end by a watery feel. It’s unique, and not miles apart from cows milk— only the aftertaste hints at difference, be it species or the grassfed-ness.
Hope Eco-Farms Chocolate Milk From Grassfed Sheep
Powerful blast of flavor— cocoa, cream, and a salty butteriness that will cause your tongue to weep: emitting tears more closely associated with joy than sorrow. There’s no goaty twang, but an undeniably unique quality that is both fun and interesting. Once the liquid is gone, you have a drying chalkiness that isn’t terribly off-putting because the tasty flavor lingers alongside. A must-try for fans of chocolate milk!
Longo's Organic Chocolate Milk
The flavor is marked by a somewhat sharp (initial) sweetness that distributes evenly a split second after it hits the tongue, leaving you with mild cocoa flavor and a rich milky texture that you will want to experience again.
Sheldon Creek Dairy Chocolate Milk
Fantastically creamy, less-sweet, and an almost yogurt-y sour twinge that is unique and welcomed. Mature flavor that manages to feel indulgent despite having nearly half the sugar of most other chocolate milks.
Miller's Dairy Chocolate Milk
Thick, yet smooth and more than justified by the creaminess— which is excessive (not in a bad way, of course). The cocoa flavor is there, but it’s slightly on the ‘milkier’ side of ‘dark.’ Definitely an experience to savor.
Organic Meadow Chocolate Milk (946mL glass)
Excellent punch of cocoa enveloped in a buttery creaminess that seems beyond what 2% milk fat should be capable of. I could easily down the entire bottle, which would cause me to be more disturbed by the sight of the empty vessel than at the gluttonous lust it took to achieve it.
Harmony Organic Chocolate Milk (1L glass)
No hint of rum that I sensed in the carton version, just a velvety, malty, melted-ice cream deliciousness. The saltiness is dialed to the perfect notch; in short— it tastes every bit as beautiful as it looks.
Milk 2 Go Sport Chocolate Protein Shake
It's hard to believe that there’s actually 6.8g sugar per 100mL— tastes like much less. The experience is dominated by a sour, damp, wheaty flavor that will linger on your palate long after each ill-considered mouthful.
Organic Meadow Chocolate Milk (UHT)
Noticeably darker and thicker than the fresh Organic Meadow in the carton. It still had a mature flavor, accentuated by a high creaminess and low sweetness. All in all, a delicious UHT asset to the OM portfolio.
Natrel Chocolate Milk
Smooth and sweet with a bit of a candied cocoa flavor. Competently mediocre— but, let’s face it: average chocolate milk is good.