1,823 chocolate milks | 52 countries | currently scouring my fridge for more...
All tagged Review Examples
Tastes like a chocolate popsicle that had been lurking in the back of the freezer for months past its ‘sell-by’ curfew. You know the kind— it’s covered in icy particles, which, due to the lack of other options, you give a cursory brush-off before thrusting the pop into your warm piehole in a vulgar act of misguided desperation. This chocolate milk embodies that experience.
Remarkably creamy and chocolaty experience, without the sugar. It’s sweet enough, but only barely— and it works, as this manages to retain an indulgence that isn’t cheapened by loads of sugar, gimmicky flavors, or a contrived texture.
Record-scratchingly bland— it’s sporting ‘business casual’ to a Halloween rave. Nothing is offensive here, just rather pointless— especially if you’re expecting flavor in proportion to the chocolate chunks that abound on the package.
Surprisingly chocolaty, pleasantly malty, appropriately sweetened— there’s a lot to like here. I’ve had quite a range of Ovaltine products, and this is well into the palatable end of the continuum.
Nary a hint of ‘goat’— and only a tiny kiss of chocolate— this is not nearly the flavorful experience that ‘chocolate goat milk’ would insinuate, be it good or bad. The cream clings to the inside of your mouth for an unnecessary duration after the swallow, but it doesn’t sport much of an aftertaste, as that would have at least required a fore-taste.
Delicious cocoa flavor is the sole focus— and the thin texture delivers the flavor quickly but lacks a bit of staying power— an issue that is promptly remedied by taking another sip as you will want to do. It drinks 'faster' than its rich cocoa taste should allow, but it's still a worthwhile pursuit.
Cocoa flavor is strong yet dull at the same time-- it lacks dimension. It’s nicely undersweet, a bit chalky, and a fine enough product to wake up to on those mornings when you don’t require inspiration.
Paralyzingly bland-- no sweetness, cocoa, salt, malt, you name it.. Scoring this a 2.0 overall, as anything below 2.0 needs to have enough of a flavor to be considered ‘bad.’ This product is evidently aimed at those who find ketchup too spicy, and The Andy Griffith Show too racy.
Much like your average co-worker: acceptably competent, slightly boring, and not worth introducing to your sister.
Excellent all-around flavor and texture, shading a bit to the sweet end of things, but it still feels responsible and focused on tasting how chocolate milk should. A salty snap puts a welcome finish on each sip— it’s a cheap date, but one you’ll look forward to taking out.
Thin, grassy, and prominently acidic. The flavor immediately retreats to the center-rear of your tongue, and the sharp acidity makes the mouth water, more in defense than anticipation. One of the more unique chocolate milks I’ve had, both in terms of flavor and ingredients.
An onslaught of richness and flavor packed into a densely thick and creamy drink! It will fill up your stomach just as fast as it satisfies your desire for something indulgent— it’s very efficient in that way— and a truly remarkable experience.
Tons of salty malty goodness here, in a creamy medium that enslaves your palate in velvety shackles— you won’t want to break free!
Excellent punch of cocoa enveloped in a buttery creaminess that seems beyond what 2% milk fat should be capable of. I could easily down the entire bottle, which would cause me to be more disturbed by the sight of the empty vessel than at the gluttonous lust it took to achieve it.
Incredibly strong wafer-ish flavor that borders on ‘popcorn butter’— packed into one of the sweetest drinks you will ever consume. The onslaught of flavor will cause your mouth to salivate and your pancreas to spew insulin like a busted water main.
Flavorful chocolate milk that doesn’t stray too far in any direction. There’s a quiet confidence about it, and the experience is chocolaty and mature feeling. The chocolate ice cream on the label is not hyperbole, this does feel indulgent, and stands above the field of Mexican chocolate milk so far.
A velvety creaminess wrests control of the wheel and steers you though each sip— a blissful ride that unfortunately ends with an empty glass.
Deliciously creamy and malty with a lovely salty bow that neatly ties up each sip as though it’s presenting your esophagus with a little gift.
Excellent creamy flavor that transcends the limits of what you’d think its fat content could produce. It’s buttery, with mature cocoa flavor and a clean finish that keeps you coming back for more.
Either a bitter fruitiness or a fruity bitterness greets you on the first sip and instantly manifests as regret. That’s more than $0.01 per mL— provided you drink the whole bottle. Pretty sure you won’t want to.
