Melted chocolate butter— what more can you say. I will forever remember where I stood in that Connellsville, PA public parking lot when my insides were first graced with this gloriously indulgent, refulgent, buttery bliss of a beverage. The name makes sense to me now.

An interesting, almost ‘slippery’ feel that you quickly warm to as the subtle flavor begins to sink in. It’s plenty creamy, and leaves a bit of a cocoa powder residue once the cream ebbs. There’s a sophistication to it that encourages the sip over the gulp, and I respect it for that.

Noticeably better (read: milkier, creamier) texture than the (seemingly same) product stored in plastic, but it’s definitely a better drinking and tasting experience. A slightly salty kick rounds out each sip that accentuates the cream and curtails any potential aftertaste funk.

Seems to be lacking the cream that you might expect from that extra 0.5% above the typical lowfat (which is present in the cartoned version). Nonetheless, an amply chocolaty experience in an eye-catching package that can hold its own in the mid-tier.

No shortage of flavor, though a bit reliant on sweetness to carry it through. Each sip starts and ends sweet, and there’s cocoa in between but there’s nearly a syrupy quality to it that lingers in the throat beyond its curfew.

Brilliant aesthetics and texture, the creamy base delivers a smooth, temperately chocolaty wave from lips to liver. It’s not ostentatious, but reliably gets the job done without gimmicks or excess baggage.

Unique combination of ‘milky’ flavor with a modestly earthy cocoa tinge. It has an excellent look and feel, and when you’re finished, you have one of the most attractive milk cartons ever made to do with as you wish (mantle piece?). 

Thin, creamy, and underserved on the ‘taste’ side of the ledger. Given its decent base, it doesn’t require strong flavor to be enjoyable, but it would benefit greatly from leveling up the chocolate piece.

Solidly chocolaty and fairly sweet— mired only by a slight cloying aftertaste that kicks in a couple seconds post-gulp. The flavor in the beginning half of the sip is rather decent, it just tries to hang on too long.

Sweetness that would contort even the most stoic of faces. The cookies & cream flavor is decent, but this drinks like melted vanilla ice cream drowned in corn syrup and garnished with powdered sugar.

The focus is chocolate, and that is what is delivered. Unlike the whole version, this stays well within the lines, but fills them in with better than average cocoa flavor.

Hives-inducing cocoa strength, almost to a sour extent. I applaud the uniqueness, commitment to flavor, and not just delivering, but surpassing the ‘double’ claim on the label. It’s hard to drink quickly, and I like that. You could dilute it by half, and still have a more chocolaty experience than most others out there.

Super smooth but marked by an off-putting sweetness that entirely trumps the remainder of the drink. It crescendos in the latter half of the sip and ushers in a nearly tamarind-like sweetness that rings false.

Solidly smooth and chocolaty, though lacking a punch that could take the base to loftier heights. Expect satisfaction, not havoc-wreaking exuberance.

Too sweet considering what else it delivers (or doesn’t). It’s not a terrible drinking experience, just doesn’t offer much in the way of chocolaty, creamy, or whatever else we like about chocolate milk.

Searingly sweet, perhaps in an attempt to ameliorate the un-indulgent 1% milk fat base, but instead it draws too much attention and thwarts the likely good intentions. I’m no advocate for tasteless— but this would benefit from a ‘blanding.’

Strong chocolate upfront, backed by a creamy/salty base that is an effective sustain pedal for the flavor. There's a lot to like here, and though Pennsylvania is not want for delicious chocolate milk, it’s great to know that indulgence is as ubiquitous as TH stores throughout much of the state.

Strong upfront cocoa flavor sustained by delicious cream and ushered out with a salty snap-- bringing each sip to a satisfying conclusion. There’s lots going on here, and all of it is brilliant.