1,823 chocolate milks | 52 countries | currently scouring my fridge for more...
All tagged Low Calorie
Sludgy, chalky, and vitamin-y tasting-- this would serve well as a meal replacement as it rather efficiently curbs the appetite. It's not face-twistingly bad, but rather predictable in its fortified flavor and clotted body. You deserve much better regardless of whether you just finished a crossfit workout or a large pizza.
Whomever decided to package and sell this stuff should be put on a watch list. It’s watery, yet fiercely chalky, and the flavor is decidedly more ‘graphite’ than ‘chocolate truffle.’ They could easily rebrand this as an appetite suppressant.
Less flavorful overall than its ‘classic’ counterpart, and when the flavor is generally bad, less of it is a good thing. The cocoa is more noticeable, but there isn’t much salt, sweetness, or cream to help develop it or add dimension. It’s watery and highly chalky as well— I appreciate the packaging and the ‘better for you’ endeavor, but from a flavor / drinking experience standpoint, it’s significantly below the typical ‘bad’ chocolate milk.
Well, it’s cold, brown, and would suck if you spilled it on your crotch— that’s where the similarities with chocolate milk end. I want to like this, but even the smallest sip brings about facial contortions. It looks decent coming out the can, but the flavor is unfortunately dominated by a heavy-handed pseudo-bitter-sweet twang that steers the rest of the experience toward imminent catastrophe.
It probably won’t stab you to death in the shower. That’s the only positive thing I can say about it. You won’t question the ‘no sugar added’ claim on the front, but you may ponder how many brushings it will take to erase the flavor from your mouth, and how much bleach you’ll have to huff to dull the memory.
About as good as a nonfat chocolate milk can be. Chocolate remains the primary focus, and the supporting cast delivers it with enough confidence to allay strong suspicions about the fat content (or lack thereof). It does drink a little on the thicker side, but perhaps they’ve unlocked a secret regarding nonfat chocolate milk— don’t homogenize.
A chemical-esque chalky concoction, this may be more enjoyable to take as a suppository. The earthy flavor is more ‘garage sweepings’ than ‘arable countryside’ and the sweetener is distracting (perhaps a good thing in this case). I get that it’s low calorie— but it just reinforces the adage that there’s no biological free lunch.
A biting stevia twang rushes to the sides of your tongue, absconding with the bulk of your attention. What remains is a non-creamy, earthy-cocoa-flavored liquid that's not worth your time, money, or refrigerator space.
It's easy to forget how unnatural skim chocolate milk looks, feels, and tastes— this is no exception. Cloyingly sweet and unsupported by its cream-starved base, you will begin to wonder if even the most sugar-ravenous kids would disparage their young viscera with anything more than a trial sip.
Smooth, bland, tastes of wet cardboard— the kind that had a lot of permanent marker writing on it. There’s very little depth to the flavor, and there’s nothing to hold your attention beyond the initial “I wonder what this tastes like” sip. The answer comes quickly, and you only take additional sips if you’re dying of thirst, or reviewing the product. Damn.
It's got the 3 Ws in spades— wheaty, watery, and wackness. It’s unsweet to the point of being bitter, and that’s not to accentuate a dark chocolate flavor or something worthwhile. You’re left with a damp cardboard aftertaste that will serve as a stark reminder not to take another sip.
The Splenda taste is immediately recognizable (if you’re familiar with it) and it adequately sweetens the otherwise cardboard-y flavor. The aftertaste has an acidic bent that reminds me (only slightly) of the post-vomit stuff that you continue to spit out before the initial ‘rinse’.
Unnecessarily thick and tastes like spray paint fumes (modestly so, anyway). You could convince yourself that there’s more ‘banana’ flavor in this than ‘chocolate’— but either way, it’s not to be pursued for enjoyment.
Thin and somewhat smooth, but unnatural feeling. The overt (phony) sweetness will shock and displease you. Reckon it's antifreeze without the cool green color.
Despite having zero sweeteners (natural or artificial), this does *feel* like it’s artificially sweetened. It gives a sensation on the tongue not too different from artificially sweetened products I’ve had, but I do trust the label. It’s not offensive, especially considering the zero sweetener claim— they’ve done well to make it palatable.
Musty, wet-cardboard flavor can’t be intentional, but it’s common enough in chocolate milk that I’m no longer surprised by it. This drink admittedly doesn’t have much to work with, given the nutritional profile, but perhaps just aiming for ‘bland’ should be the goal of certain producers.
Gives off a strange sensation that I’ve not felt much before— the first sip hits you as a hollow sweetness, and then, in your mouth, the swallow and aftertaste just get progressively sweeter. I’m not sure how/why this works, but it’s unpleasant. The sweetness feels unnatural as well, and the chocolate flavor is not at all worth the trouble.
Manages the ‘unsweet’ aspect rather well, as the liquid cascades easily down the hatch with nary a fight. There’s not a lot of flavor; the highlight being a malty finish that becomes evident only in retrospect, but the fact that it's not offensive earns some points given its rather austere nutritional stats.
A tad less bitter than the regular Styrk version, but enjoyment is clearly not the goal here. There’s not a strong ‘protein’ taste or overly contrived texture, but it's a rather shallow experience from a flavor standpoint.
Not at all sweet, not at all chocolaty, not at all creamy, not at all recommended.
