Kimberly Farm Chocolate Milk Shake

Every bit as face-meltingly flavorful as you'd expect a 1/2 creamline chocolate milk - 1/2 chocolate ice cream mix to be. If you want to do a tastebud audit-- this will find ALL of them, including a few you probably didn't know you had. It's beefy, densely flavorful, incredibly sweet and chocolaty, and might bring you to an early grave. Don't say I didn't warn you!

Bowl & Basket Lowfat Chocolate Milk

Syrupy-sweet and physically drying on the back end-- not a mouthfeel that dreams are made of. You have to look pretty hard to locate any legitimate cocoa flavor, and you'll likely want to call off the search before anything is found. There are much better options sold by the gallon, including (but not limited to) distilled water.

Cows Around the Corner Chocolate Milk

Punchy choco-malty flavor with a sweet-salty balance deftly in favor of the latter. The creamline body is fully-burdened with flavor and does its job well to guide the experience gracefully through to the aftertaste, leading you back where you started, albeit significantly better off for having taken the trip.

Hastings Farm Chocolate Milk

Deeply flavorful with layers to the experience-- the bright cocoa flavor is leveraged to its full extent by its gorgeous creamline base with a solid homage to its grassy beginnings. In short, this is an absolutely delicious tasting and feeling chocolate milk with an amped-up, unapologetically indulgent spirit. I'm being brief here so I can get back to drinking it.

Oakridge Dairy Chocolate Milk

Heavily creamy-- perhaps not unlike drinking heavy cream-- with a medium-to-malty cocoa flavor and slightly grassy back-end that comes into its own a couple days after the bottle has been opened. Approach slowly and on a relatively empty stomach-- because it won't be empty for long.

Fish Family Farm Chocolate Milk

Unapologetically thick and girthy-- it delivers a disproportionately strong cocoa flavor given its rather fair complexion. Each sip is a meal in itself, so if you came to the farm for ice cream you might be just as satisfied with 8 oz of this instead. Chewing is optional.

Deerfield Farm Chocolate Milk

Warmly creamy in a way that a beautiful non-homogenized Jersey milk can be-- and that base sets the tone for the whole experience which goes from malty cocoa punch to sweet creamy repose-- a circuit you will want to repeat ad infinitum. Or until your tummy hurts-- but it's a good hurt, I promise!

New Pond Farm Chocolate Milk

The darker, slightly more mature cocoa flavor is uniquely indulgent and further accentuated by the graceful undersweetness, which makes this feel noticeably more desserty and sophisticated than your average ham-fisted over-sweet mass-produced chocolate milk. There's a bit of a dusty footprint on the back end, a conscious reminder of what it takes to deliver strong cocoa flavor in a dairy base.

Indian Creek Creamery Chocolate Milk

Velvety creamline body with a gorgeous salty lick at the end which puts a bow on each and every rewarding sip. Chocolaty, warmly creamy-- it's got 'soul' that is not often understood until tried. Delicious from start to finish, this will have you asking incredulously why anyone ever decided to homogenize milk.

Martin's Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk

If you're not familiar with the uvular 'twang' that you can get from a strongly high-fructose-corn-syrup-sweetened chocolate milk, then give this a try and you'll know. It's devoid of anything other than a sticky sweetness, and is the dairy equivalent of watching daytime reality TV, which, to be fair, I'm not sure exists. But if it did, it would be like this-- something you know is rotting you from the inside, yet has enough of an appeal to hack some brain stems into consuming it regardless.

Seven Sons Farms Chocolate Milk

Leads with cocoa-- a strong, sourish / mature cocoa flavor seizes your tastebuds right away and takes you on a uniquely tasty journey that ends with a clean aftertaste, ultimately whetting your palate for another draw. Both under-sweet and under-salty, it's well balanced and affords the chocolate flavor the lion's share of the limelight. The only chocolate milk I've seen to date that has 'butter' as an ingredient-- I can't pick it out per-se, but bonus point for the novelty!

Amish Country Dairy Chocolate Milk

Fleeting upfront saltiness that sets the tone for the deliciousness yet to come. I absolutely love the (thin) texture to (high) creaminess ratio-- it drinks quickly but remains indulgent throughout. The cocoa flavor won't beat you over the head, but the cream flavor and its luxurious lithe-ness will.

Trader Joes Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk

The enjoyment peaks early on in the sip with the initial rush of cocoa and moderate sweetness-- but it quickly abates in favor of an intrusive stevia wave-- not quite sharp enough to call it a 'twang'-- but it wrests control of the flavor throughout the 2nd and 3rd trimester-- leaving you with an unsatisfying and slightly drying aftertaste.

Prairie Farms Lowfat UHT Chocolate Milk

Unremarkable but gets the job done-- it shades on the bland side of the ledger but at least has portability on its side being a shelf-stable product. There's a slight cooked-milk flavor that isn't particularly distracting-- and ultimately it drinks with facility and ends with a mild astringency. Middle of the road.

Ayrshire Farms Chocolate Milk

Very well-balanced flavor, in that it leads with chocolate, and the salty/sweet ratio is spot on and plays its supporting role perfectly. It drinks quickly-- I finished the entire cup before even recording any of the review-- which is always a good sign. It comes off as effortlessly delicious-- which seems congruent with its simple roots-- a very desirable quality that can't be faked.

Family Tyme Creamery Mocha Milk

More coffee than chocolate-- but that's certainly no complaint. As one who likes sweet coffee, this is enjoyable stuff with an honest caffeine kick before you can polish off the pint. There's a slight astringency in the afterglow that is noticeable but doesn't hamper the overall plus experience.